Some days I just feel like a busybody, a paper pusher (or email pusher). The company I work for is going through some hard times. A big project that it was hinging its future on is now dead in the water. There is a buyer, apparently, who doesn't want to change the personnel that still remain, and the transaction is supposed to go through on January 15th. Still, I've been through these kinds of things before and my hopes are not too high. But I am hopeful that I won't be let out onto the street until my wife and I move to that in-law unit early next year. Ground has yet to be broken for the place, though. The timeline keeps getting pushed back to this bit of bureaucracy or that.

On the music front, I haven't picked up an instrument since this gig. Well, once, to do a session for this guy for a track he put out for this organization. And I picked up the horn to play a lament the night after we had to put our beloved cat, Renee, to sleep. Oh, and I was present to help out with some audio cleanup for this DVD. Okay, I guess I've done a little bit of work, but not much. I have finished my first draft of a book I may put out about the seventeen years I spent showing up to practice. I've been bouncing off the manuscript with a couple of people who aren't close to my vest these days for an objective opinion. It's not a kiss and tell book, more like the journey of a person struggling to decide whether to take the "all or nothing" approach, or juggle day gigs with band gigs. I took the latter and, for now, have given up on the latter to pursue the former full time. To the point: Now that I have done that, I have been working for a company who struggles like the band I used to be in. Successful enough to win an award or two and get notice, but is it enough to be profitable? Time will tell.

Also, political affairs that occupied my time and energy preceding the election could not be further from my radar at present. I suppose it mirrors the period of mourning that many of my worldview share. There will be another day. But I'm going to sit all of that out through the holidays. To do ....what? That's the question. Read articles about Johnny Cougar, I guess. I've always had a soft spot for him, since I was born in a Small town, too. But I definitely have nothing against a big town, because I live in one.

As Dylan said in his recent "Chronicles" : "The twenty four hour news cycle would have been my own personal hell" (or something like that, I am paraphrasing because I can't find the quote now), I have to concur. The curtains are drawn and the lights are still low. I'm working from home for perhaps my last day. I've been trying to find other things to do during that time. One is working on my band memoir, which I've almost completed. But I need time for the near-end events to gestate a little bit. I have the ending, just not the near ending. Then I will revise it, and hopefully in two to four years it will be worthy to show someone, ha ha.

Getting back to the 24 hour news cycle, here is the latest flap in sports. Wanna know my first reaction when I saw it? It was far from being offended, like so many of the folks out in Jesusland seem to be. I thought it was fucking cheesy.

Ah, my life in the virtual office is about to be over. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

Pragmatic Liberalism, a book once published by a professor of mine, I believe is a good starting point for where to move forward. I think we need to think beyond capitalism and socialism and come to some form of balanced approach in an applied philosophy. Think of things in terms of enterprises. The NFL is very capitalistic, but also has mechanisms to level the playing field somewhat. Major League baseball does not. US Healthcare damn well could if people would learn how to stop using paper forms and faxing things. Balance, equilibrium, consensus, these are words that should be embraced. Moderation.

I bought the Lakoff book yesterday, and will begin reading it shortly. I was a little harsh in the "dumb fucks" statement last week. Aren't we all human when we react to our greatest fears being realized?

Oh dear. I've gotten myself into a little trouble by sending out this one. But it's still fuckin' funny. Like a Yankee lib with tourette's.

The curtains are drawn and the candles have been burning for the past couple of nights in a quite home vigil. The only solace I can take is that we live in "Baja Canada" and not "Jesusland." I am so disgusted I don't even know where to begin.

The working people who voted for that man based on social conservatism will get what they deserve, more lost jobs, further economic marginalization and some day they will be the ones marching to the drumbeat of what we've been saying all along. I suspect a major scandal will break out somewhere in this term, once the Dems get their sea legs back.

The mainstream media has it all wrong. For the Dems to survive they need to go further to the left, not to the right. I think the idea of trying to pursuade the Jesus freaks and the dumb fucks who claimed they were "undecided" up until the end is the wrong way to go. Sure there are more stupid people than smart people in this country, but we need to take back the word liberal in this country and wear the moniker with pride.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has harbored thoughts of leaving this country, or fighting for California to secede, or a whole slew of other things. My wife says it best: My sense of patriotism died on 11/2/04. But I'm not ready to give up just yet. The pendulum will swing back in the other direction.

It's been a while. Nobody reads this anyway, so who cares?! I have to tip my hat to Keith Foulke last night for that last pitch. I think this is as close as the Red Sox will get to a miracle, I'm afraid. But I will reserve a space for a little Oakland pride in that moment last night. I am rooting for the Red Sox, who besides Yanks fans wouldn't? But the Yanks just have too many weapons. I'm already mentally preparing myself to root for the Cards in the WS.

Now, on to more serious matters. Like this. Jesus, talk about pissing my pants.

Okay, seriously. I am doing some serious wood knocking at the moment, but things are looking up for Kerry, whose campaign reminds me of the Greeks and the Olympics. They waited until the last minute to get the job done, but they did a good job in the end.

Finally, since I bought Brian Wilson's "Smile" two weeks ago, there has been a song or a fragment from that record stuck in my head ever since. I wonder if the gods are trying to tell me something, that maybe I shouldn't have retired from the rock and have more important things to contribute than answering tech emails and phone calls.