Tuesday, August 15, 2006

I see Gozdilla, Jurassic Park or Frankenstein in our future. Biotech is just a-going all buck nutty.

Somewhere in the midst of my previous post's tirade, I thought I might mention the AFSP walk, but then I figured I'd wait until I cooled down. And now it's been a bit of time since we walked, but I just want to say thanks to everyone who donated and participated. Our team raised almost $8700! It was a great experience and a good healing process. We will probably do this every year and try to stay involved with the AFSP as they open an office here in the Bay Area. Jon's passing is something I am still trying to process. Somehow it doesn't feel real. During the walk I meditated on the subject often, how we used to talk about some of the suicides in the neighborhood as we were growing up as kids. Never in my wildest dreams would I have believed Jon had any thoughts like that. I've since come to learn that this is true for many people's friends and loved ones. Sometimes it's simply not wanting to be a burden on others. You could call it putting on a mask, but it's a fine line between that and just being an optimist who looks at the bright side of life. I guess we friends and loved ones of those who aren't feeling well need to listen to our instincts a little more, at the risk of being overly cautious. If it seems like something's being swept under the rug, best to listen to those impulses and at least approach the subject. When this is not done, and someone ends his or her life, it is, in my mind, a big source of the the guilt we end up feeling: What if I had brought up the subject? Would it have made a difference? More on this later.

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